I love sports. If sports were all wrapped up in one guy, I’d lick his face and marry him. I have a love/hate relationship with politics. If politics were all wrapped up in one guy, we’d be in an on-off-on again abusive relationship and I’d cry on sports’ shoulder. That’s how much sports mean to me and how badly politics treat me. And if we were all in the same room, I’d end up punching them both in the nads because they don’t belong in the same room. There is one giant glaring silver-headed, ignorant ass fool who comes to mind when this lethal duo gets together: Keith Olbermann. Who, if he were even relevant to more than people who don’t like him, wouldn’t exist outside of his bubble bath and tears.
Which is why, when stumbling across (okay, being told of by my dad) an article at SI.com, I knew I’d go green…vomit-ready green. There is a future Keith Olbermann in the wings of the website version of the popular sports mag. And if we don’t save him now, he might end up sucking just as much life out of a room as the MSNBC douchenozzle. His article, “Suns showed guts in taking stand against Arizona immigration law
” talks about Steve Nash and Grant Hill (oh, how I love thee) standing up against the Arizona “Enforcing America’s laws” Immigration Law (oh, how I love thee, too). Are you seeing my dilemma? Two sports heroes of mine, who I follow and cheer on and enjoy watching talking about politics! It’s not to say they can’t (they have every right to), they just shouldn’t. Even if they fully agreed with the law (a chick can dream, can’t she?), they shouldn’t. It’s off-putting. But Jeff Pearlman says they should. He says that every player and sports figure should have the guts to stand up against it. In the same token, they should have the guts to stand up against any vile legislation (ahem, Healthcare…) that hurts people’s freedoms. But Jeff doesn’t say that. He only repeats what Keith says on his little showy show that no one watches (except people who don’t like him…take note: you keep him on the air). Which bores me and
pisses me off.
But being the kind, sweet-hearted, loving girl that I am, I sent Mr. P a line because I care. Because I am truly concerned that he will become a worthless sack of fertilizer in the future and I must save his career. So, in an effort to help his forthcoming years in the world, I let him in on a little inside info. Let’s watch.
Hi Jeff! How are you? Hope all is well behind the scenes of SI.com.
I’ve been a long time reader of Sports Illustrated. Might sound a little strange coming from a girl, but it’s true! I was a cheerleader for most of my school days (it really is a sport), until a twice-broken ankle, wrist and sprained knee caused me to miss tryouts at a higher level. I can go back and forth with the best of ’em over football and basketball, a little of baseball and soccer, and none of hockey and NASCAR because I couldn’t give a shit. And, it doesn’t hurt that it’s a girl’s version of Playboy. I love the pictures, but (and here’s where it’s different from Playboy) I *do* read the articles.
However, when I pull up this ridonkulous article about the Suns and their balls in standing up to AZ’s law, I find SI to be lacking. I couldn’t give two shits about Nash and Hill’s politics. Frankly, they did have something to gain. They don’t want anyone boycotting the Suns on their way to the Finals. In case you missed what’s happened in the wide world of sports, some backwoods morons have been declaring a boycott on the Arizona Diamondbacks, a baseball team.
I loooove Grant Hill and Steve Nash. I’ve been following their careers for quite some time and have been blown away most of the time. They’re great guys with great attitudes who bring positivity and joy back to the game. Never do you hear Nash or Hill or even think their names when someone is shot up, arrested, drugged up or worse, talking about themselves (ahem, cue Kobe). So, when I hear Steve “Best White Guy Since Larry Bird” Nash said something so ignorant, I couldn’t believe it was the same Nash. Same with Hill. “What the hell?” is the only thing I could say. For shame. All to prevent a boycott…
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to discourage people from standing up for something they believe in. Or to discourage free speech. I just want to discourage dumb. You call the bill “one of the most racist, most xenophobic bills of the past 30 years” yet nowhere in the legislation does it say anything specific about race. Now, it is understood in this country that most illegal immigrants are crossing from Mexico, I know that. I’m not blind to any race issue currently being faced in our country. I know that there are instances where the occasional nutjob will overreact.
But do you really, truly and honestly think that Arizona cops are going to go flipping insane and arrest every person who remotely looks Mexican? Well, hell, then I better not go back to Arizona because everyone asks me if I’m Mexican. (I’m not, I’m a 3rd generation Italian-American whose family came here legally. But that’s really not the point.) No, the cops won’t do that. The whole point is to get people to do things the right way. We WANT them here. We WANT them to enjoy our freedoms and prosperity. What we DON’T want is the drugs, crime and drama that a portion (be it big or small) of illegal immigration brings with it. We have enough of that shit already.
You call it “vile hate legislation”, yet 70% of Arizona agrees with the law and most of them are hispanics. Are they self-loathing Latinos? I don’t think so. And all this crap about being stopped and having your papers, well, everytime I’m stopped by the police I have to show my papers. For instance, auto insurance. Do me a favor next time you’re in a car accident with someone here illegally who doesn’t have car insurance. Tell them, “It’s no biggie, I’ll pay the total damage. You *deserve* to do whatever you want with no repurcussions.” Green card vs. Driver’s License. I have to show it, what’s the harm? Don’t discredit the whole state of Arizona and their wonderful police force just because a celebrity told you to care. You’re too good of a writer to become the next Keith Olbermann. It’s not a good look.
Jeff, Mr. Pearlman, whatever tickles your fancy, the people of Arizona have guts. They stood up for something they needed in their communities. They want safer cities where people follow the law. These are Native Americans, Hispanics, Caucasians, African Americans, Asian Americans, and so on who want something better for their families and neighbors. They don’t want to kick all Mexicans out, they want them to come in through the front door instead of breaking in through a window. They’re willing to go through a minor hassle such as showing paperwork if it means they can welcome people who truly want to be there and will do it right, the way a lot of us have had to when moving to the US.
I like your style (minus this article) and wish you’d stick to sports. You have an insane talent for that, it’s why you work at Sports Illustrated. But if you truly want to have guts about the whole AZ law sitch, try this instead:
1. Find out where your local government offices are and how to get there. Or go one step further and find out where local Immigration offices are.
2. Encourage those who are here illegally to go to the office and inquire about classes and paperwork to become a citizen or to gain a visa of some sort. They shouldn’t be scared to go. They won’t be arrested unless they’re wanted for a crime or they choose to not take the proper channels. These offices (including ones in Arizona) are much more patient with people who are attempting to do it the right way than they are with someone avoiding the cops in the first place. Make sure you show them how to get there.
3. When they get there, give them a couple bucks for the snack machine because we all know government offices suck at being fast and they’re gonna need something to eat while they wait.
4. Leave knowing you just helped someone on their first step towards citizenship and getting those papers.
I don’t blame Arizona and I don’t blame Mexicans, I love ’em all. I blame that country south of us that sucks so bad, it’s citizens dig tunnels to get to this one. If Mexico was awesome, we wouldn’t have this problem, now would we?
Have a great day, and I look forward to some better articles in the future. You’re better than that.
PS: Los Suns is Spanglish. Los Soles is Spanish. And the jerseys were for Cinco de Mayo, a holiday only celebrated in the southern regions of Mexico and at margarita-serving taco joints in the U.S.
As always, if I get a response and remember to, I’ll post it.