Okay ladies*, imagine this scenario:
You’re at a friend’s get-together when you spot a group in the middle of the room having a great time. In the center of the group is a person who seems to be the one carrying the conversation. Your friend, Nina, notices you looking that way and calls you over, introducing you to everyone, including the charismatic guy. You strike up good conversation, find that you have a lot in common, and exchange phone numbers.
Another gentleman in the group, not quite as charismatic and good-looking but very intelligent and coy, tries to talk to you in hopes for the number exchange. He is only slightly successful, as Nina keeps interrupting him to tell you how much she likes boy #1 and thinks you two would be a great match. While you think your friend may be right, you still take boy #2’s number just in case #1 flakes out.
A few days go by. Nina calls you up to see if you’ve set up a date with boy #1 (we’ll call him Brian) and you tell her you haven’t heard from him. She hangs up with you, and about an hour later, the phone rings. You answer it, Brian is on the other line asking if you’re available that Friday night. Sounds good, you’re both excited, so you decide to meet at a restaurant for dinner.
A phone call with Nina a short while later gets you even more excited. The way she talks about Brian makes him seem perfect. He’s a rich up-and-comer with some community work under his belt. He’s well-traveled and very popular. The guy can do no wrong. Boy #2 (we’ll call him Jake) has no chance now that you made your choice in the perfect date. Jake’s number is now in the trash.
Friday night: tonight is it. Brian is really on his way, Jake no longer has a bid in your life, Nina and your other friends are so excited for you, and you are pumped and ready to start a new chapter in your life. It may only be the first date, but he sounds like he could be the One already.
Brian calls. He’s working late, so he’ll have to meet you there. Bummed but still full of hope, you grab your keys and head out the door, climb in the car and back out of the driveway.
On the way to the restaurant, you notice your gas light flashing in your car. Damn, I’ll have to fill up on the way home. Times have been so tough lately. Work had to make cutbacks on commissions and credit collectors have been calling every day. You were doing so well until you started spending too much, too often. It’s finally caught up with you, and you’re hoping Brian and his cushy job may one day soon bail you out.
At the restaurant, Brian is waiting. He looks so dapper in his suit. You’ve been waiting for this date all week.
Seated at the table, Brian starts talking about himself. At first, he seems to be saying all the right things. You both agree on politics, religion, family, education, Hollywood and other gossip. He talks long term, you swoon. Too good to be true. But soon, his long-winded one-sided conversation is just that. The waitress approaches to take your order and when she repeats your order back, you quietly correct her that you want white wine and not red. No biggie, just a small difference. Brian puts his hand in front of you, as if to shut you up and looks to the waitress. “I’m sorry. She’s never been a waitress before. She doesn’t know what it’s like. Whatever you bring will be fine, no complaints here.” The waitress smiles at him, frowns at you and walks away.
“What the hell was that?” you ask him.
“I just meant that if you knew each other better, you would learn to get along,” he replied.
You’re pissed, but give him another chance. After all, Nina did talk so highly of him.
The night goes on, his conversation seems to be prewritten, more of a speech to a wall rather than cander between to people in the moment. He ordered the most expensive thing every time, and he criticized you for choosing a salad because you weren’t taking full advantage of the chef’s talents. When the waitress delivers the order, he announces he will give her a huge tip and hands her a business card. As she walks away smiling, he notices the puzzled/pissed look on your face and says it’s only if she needs a good lawyer.
You’re eating your salad, he’s droning on and on about the life he could provide for a girl, as if he’s still trying to get a first date with you. Well, at least he’s paying for this date. Right?
Check comes, you get up to use the powder room (do people still call it that?), and upon your return, the check is still sitting there. He looks at you and says, “you’re picking up the tab, right?”
“What?” This is insane.
“I mean, you’re the one who wanted to go out with me. And don’t forget to leave a huge tip for the waitress. You owe her for earlier. I’ll see you later.” And he jets out the door.
This is the shittiest relationship you’ve ever had, and it only lasted one date! You have to pay the bill because he’s already out scot free. The date was his idea and because you went along with it, you’re stuck footing the bill and you’re already in debt and still have to get gas. When you call Nina, she defends his side even if she knows he’s wrong and you’re the one who’s been there for her. Grr. You really should have kept Jake’s number.
Sound familiar? America, we’re on the world’s worst first date, and it’s going to last 4 years. MSNinaBC and all her friends are covering for him, when it’s you they should be caring about. In the world of dating, as in the world of politics, Jake’s date might not have been the perfect one either, but I can guarantee you it would have been better. Instead, we chose charisma over character, and now we’re stuck footing the bill.
Grr…
Tiffany
*If you’re a dude, change Nina to Nick, Brian to Brittany, Jake to Jackie and all the he’s to she’s and you’re good to go. It’s the same damn story.